Fear My Dance

Today I woke up in a surly mood. Maybe it was the theme from "The Exorcist" that started playing the moment I opened my eyes, or the fact that as I walked past my vanity mirror I gave myself the stink eye, I knew the day would be just no damn good.

I was so mean today I couldn't stand being around myself. Thinking I would outrun the concentrated evil within, I slammed down my light granola and drank my milk straight out of the carton with a swagger before heading out for my exercise. Growling, I brushed past the dog with a few belittlements, off I went tougher than anyone's munkay. I trash talked the birds who sang to me. The sun looked down with envy upon my heat. I waved at no one. All drivers were living on the edge for daring to be on my road. The neibor who greeted me will be made into a soup which I plan on drinking from his own skull later. Small forest creatures scurried for saftly out of my path.

At the sight of me, family members would freeze, drop whatever they were doing and back away from my foul being. They knew it was not a question if I would snap but when. Maybe it was the pressure of the horns that kept popping up there my hair that gave me such a short fuse I don't know. Perhalps I did deserve the title the kids gave me, She Who Must Be Obeyed. I just know my mojo dial was set on dirty, mean and heavy on the nasty.

Who ever it was that beat me with this ugly stick during the night will be hunted down and exterminated. Fear my dance.

*This blog is dedicated to SisterHeidi. Just remember, if you don't like it, go bite yourself.